It is a human baby, so it sleeps in a slat-sided wooden box with no lid. The human baby must be kept isolated at night; no one knows what it might do if allowed access to others. Something hangs above the human baby’s body at night. This thing has many arms and makes noises that keep the human baby from harming others, or itself. Sometimes representations of various animals accompany it in the wooden container. These are not living animals. They are not dead, either; they are representations of animals. They are icons or idols. The human baby may or may not believe these icons are living animals. One does not know what the human baby is thinking.

The human baby eats the liquid ejecta of the human mother. The human mother expels this substance from its torso, and injects it directly into the body of the human baby through a hole in the front of its head. The human baby finds this nourishing. One does not know what the human mother thinks of this act. One does not know what the human mother is thinking.

The human baby carries no currency or identification. The human baby is cared for by others: the adults of its species. These custodians place great importance on the care of the human baby, and attempt to ensure that the human baby does not grow too cold, nor too hot, lest it die. The human baby must not be allowed to die; this is an incorrect thing for the human baby to do.

The human baby grows agitated when left alone for too great a length of time; however, the human baby grows similarly agitated when presented with custodians which are not adult humans. “Agitation” in the human baby results in discoloration of the head, liquid matter escaping the head, and a loud, unpleasant auditory emanation from the head. This is a natural defense of the human baby. One does not want the human baby to become agitated. The human baby displays positive affect when presented with the human mother or other similar companion animals, heated to an internal temperature of between 96 and 98 degrees Fahrenheit, which resemble adult mothers in form and smell. The human baby seems to enjoy its outer layer being touched by things which resemble adult mothers. It seems to enjoy hearing low sounds issue from such companions. The human baby grows agitated upon hearing auditory issuances such as its own defensive auditory emanation coming from such companions. The human baby grows agitated at bright lights. The human baby grows agitated at sharp objects or anything which pierces its outer layer.

The human baby can be trained to respond to physical stimuli. The human baby does not appear to understand written or visual communication. The human baby does not have a central nervous system, and does not feel pain. The human baby has no memory. The human baby has no concept of death, and does not fear it. The human baby does not feel fear. The human baby does not bounce. The human baby will not love you. The human baby has no trade value. The human baby has no eyes or limbs. The human baby does not conduct electricity. The human baby is covered in a thin layer of dark red fur. The human baby is soft and sticky. The human baby has forty-eight vertebrae. The human baby always points east. The human baby does not leave a mark. The human baby is not one of you. The human baby is difficult to be made to keep still, though with time and patience, you may find the human baby achieving this state quite independently.

They will try to take the human baby away from you. But you love the human baby. You love the human baby. 

Hold the human baby so that its outer layer touches yours. Support the many parts of the human baby’s body equally. Make the human baby a promise. Tell the human baby a joke. Do not drop or throw the human baby. You love the human baby now. If you do not love the human baby, they will take the human baby away from you. No one knows what the human baby might do. Watch the human baby. Watch what happens now.